Wedding Battles And How They Are Won

First, never look evil directly in the eyes, at least, not when she is looking back at you. Let’s face it, we all want to know what our wives will look and act like fifty some odd years down the track and track is a good word here because it looks like that’s where your mother in law’s face was when the ugly train hit it at full speed. We men have all been told that if you want to see what your wife will be like, look at her mother. Fortunately, for us, life-sucking evil often skips a generation. It just cannot be possible that much evil could exist in such close proximity for long. You know this when your mother in law looks at you and you feel your knees start to buckle. A wave of sudden diarrhea twists your stomach into a knot and the sweat breaks out on your forehead until you are forced to look away. That is okay though, the battle may be lost, but the lesson was not wasted on you. Never look evil directly in the eyes.

It is said that wedding ceremonies started with the bride and her mother on one side, and the groom and his quivering father on the other but so many grooms were devoured before the “I do’s” that they brought in the best man and some groomsmen to help out. This move was countered by the mother in law with her own gang of thugs, the maid of honor, and the bridesmaids. And so began the origins of the bribes to get them to stand up and fight, which we now call the bridesmaid gifts and the maid of honor gifts, again countered by the grooms team.

A wedding is often a mission on the part of the groom to steal the bride away from her mother and this sometimes calls for covert operations. One such act of attrition that is necessary at almost every wedding is the stealing of and hiding the mother in laws broomstick. Taking away her mode of transportation greatly reduces the groom’s need for air support. The total focus can now be placed on alter operations without having to worry about the mother in law buzzing around the chapel ceiling dropping stink bombs on the grooms party.

The mother in law is not powerless, however and will have some undercover work of her own. With the dark forces on her side comes the ability to shape shift, although it does diminish her strength. Many a war has been won by the groom because the mother in law, fresh from shape shifting into a beautiful temptress at the groom’s bachelor party, is too weak to put up a sufficient fight on the wedding day. Even operating at low strength, the mother in law is a formidable foe, casting her cold feet spells and causing things to go wrong at the wedding. At my wedding, the dreaded mother in law hexed the preacher into saying her name instead of my wife’s during the ceremony, almost stealing the legality of the ritual. They are devilishly sneaky and should not be underestimated.

There is one weapon that the groom yields, however, that shifts the balance of power in his favor if he is lucky enough to have it. The only force that the evil mother in law cannot defeat in an outright face-to-face battle is true love. As long as the bride and the groom possess true love, they will conquer all.

Aaron Hu has authored on an extensive range of topics related to the wedding industry. If you are looking for Uk marriage visa Bridesmaid gifts, E-WeddingFavors.com has the biggest selection available. You will also find Uk marriage visa Wedding Favors and much more, all at very affordable prices.

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