She was bright, smart and very angry at her husband.
I asked her why. She said, “Well, every time I try to share about a problem, or I’m talking about something that happened in my day that I’m aggravated about, he interrupts constantly by jumping in and asking me questions about the whole thing. Why can’t he just listen to me?”
I told her that the reason for this was that men at heart are fixers. And the reason that they are fixers is because they want to be their wives’ heroes. They want to be the guy that rides in on the white horse. They want to be the knight in shining armor, the one that their wife looks to, to make everything better. As a result, when a man finds out about a problem or situation that his wife is frustrated about, or he sees her crying, or angry, he wants to fix things. For him, this is not the time to listen to a good story, or sympathize. This is the time to do battle with the forces of evil that are hurting the one that he loves!
So I told her, if you want to talk with your husband so that he doesn’t want to fix everything, then you need to do just one easy thing. Before you share something about your day or your life, you can tell him right up front, “Sweetheart, I don’t need you to fix this problem for me. There’s nothing that you can do. All I want you to do is listen.”
The first few times that you do this, he will get a bewildered look on his face – after all, if you don’t want something fixed, why talk about it? But, it you insist that all you want him to do is just listen to you, he will begin to get the picture. Once he’s relieved of the burden or responsibility of having to fix your problem, then he’ll be able to calm down, listen to what you have to say and you’ll have a great discussion, without his interrupting.
Ladies, this is another key step if you want to save your marriage and have great communication. You can find more vital insights into your man’s mind at our site for women, www.LoveRelationshipHeadquarters.com/women.html.
Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com